<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Ma chi sente molto, tace by AleDic</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26595445">Ma chi sente molto, tace</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/AleDic/pseuds/AleDic'>AleDic</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Gen, Season/Series 06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 03:02:13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>777</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26595445</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/AleDic/pseuds/AleDic</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>[Castiel!centric ǀ sixth season ǀ free interpretation of Destiel]<br/><i>It had started like this: with a man who had already carried too many burdens on his shoulders and an angel who had gone to add another.</i><br/>And he had stopped.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Castiel &amp; Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Ma chi sente molto, tace</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">


        <li>
            Inspired by

            <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/688912">Ma chi sente molto, tace</a> by AleDic.
        </li>

    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Sixth season and Castiel's betrayal that even today Dean has never understood or known was done only and exclusively because an angel wanted to watch over him.<br/>Oh, and it's a translate of my work on the EFP website.<br/>Enjoy it!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><span>Ma chi sente molto, tace;</span>

</p><p><span>chi vuol dire quello che sente</span>

</p><p><span>resta senz’anima né parola,</span>

</p><p><span>resta solo, completamente.</span>

</p><p>
  <span>
    <b>∼ Fernando Pessoa ∼</b>
  </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>It had started like this: with a man who had already carried too many burdens on his shoulders and an angel who had gone to add another.<br/>
And he had stopped.</p><p><br/>
</p><p><strong><span>I.</span></strong><br/>
He hadn't heard Dean's voice in over a year now.
And for even longer a prayer of his.
It wasn't like Dean, after all, <i>to pray</i> to someone.
Castiel felt a small gasp somewhere inside him, and for a few moments he stood still, not understanding what it was due to.
He had heard Sam pray to him several times after pulling him out of the Cage.
It had never aroused anything like it.
He tried to shake off the strange feeling that Dean's voice had caused him and get back to work.
Then his voice came again, this time hinting at one of Heaven's lost weapons.
He took leave of his companions and decided to go down to Earth to check.</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <span>II.</span>
  </strong>
</p><p>Dean was angry - which in itself was nothing out of the ordinary, Dean was <i>always</i> angry, somehow (in the way a tree has deeper roots than others).<br/>
The specific thing, that made this situation relevant to Castiel, was that Dean was angry <i>with him</i>.<br/>
He wanted his help figuring out what was wrong with Sam, but Castiel had no idea what it could be, so answering Dean's calls seemed pointless (Dean didn't think the same way).<br/>
And then there was that strange feeling he felt every time he heard Dean's voice, every time he saw him.<br/>
It was like a vise closing in his chest.<br/>
It annoyed him.<br/>
It irritated him.<br/>
And he couldn't figure it out.<br/>
Maybe there was something wrong with him too.</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p><strong><span>III.</span></strong><br/>
Sam no longer had his soul.
Dean had tried to warn him, but Castiel hadn't wanted to listen.
He was the one who pulled Sam out of the Cage, in the heart of Hell.
It was he who had saved him.
At least, until then, he <i>believed</i> he had saved him.
He had never told Sam.
He had never told <i>Dean</i>.
He didn't have the courage to say it now.
Instead, he said he would help them retrieve it.
 
From that moment on, the sensation in the his chest only got worse, closing in the pit of the stomach.
His visits to the Winchesters began to wane.</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <span>IV.</span>
  </strong>
</p><p>It took him a while to realize he was trying to avoid Dean.<br/>
From the moment he heard the first prayer echoing in his mind months and months ago, he had told himself that the desperate situation in Heaven, the Civil War with Raphael's faction, were the only reasons why he decided not to answer.<br/>
He was busy trying to win and prevent a new Apocalypse from unleashing.<br/>
He couldn't even admit to himself that the real reason why even the very thought of going to Dean triggered that annoying feeling was another.</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p><strong><span>V.</span></strong><br/>
The truth was, watching Dean <i>hurt him</i>.
He understood this when, once he admitted to himself that he was avoiding him, he began to observe him without being seen.
Hiding his presence was child's play for an angel, and Castiel found himself descending to Earth and staying in the Veil every time he went to Dean.
He did it often now.
He simply stood there in silence, and observed the man he had saved from Hell years before while he tried in every way to remain loyal to him; <i>to believe</i> in him.
And every time <i>it hurt</i>.

Castiel understood that, among many other things, he was ashamed.</p><p><br/>
</p><p>It had started like this: with a man who had already carried too many burdens on his shoulders and an angel who had gone to add another.<br/>
And he had stopped.</p><p>Castiel wondered if things would have turned out differently if he hadn't.<br/>
If, instead of stopping and following Crowley, he had revealed himself to Dean and asked for help.<br/>
If he had told him from the start that he was the one who brought Sam back.<br/>
He wondered, with an intensity bordering on despair, if none of this would have happened if he only went to Dean as he had wanted to do from the first moment and confessed everything. <i>All of it</i>.<br/>
Instead, he had stopped.</p><p>The only thing he knew, which he never needed to understand, was <i>why</i> he had stopped that day.<br/>
It was the same reason he had done every single other thing from the moment he chose to rebel against Heaven.</p><p>Even then the sight of Dean had hurt him.</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>